Weight of the Pressure: A Story of Self-Perception

As the cool morning air began to irritate her skin from the open window, Lavender unwillingly woke from her warm cocoon of blankets. She was dreading another long shift at the local fast-food restaurant. The young woman tugged on her uniform and felt the fabric cling to her body like a second skin, causing her discomfort. She groaned at her reflection in the mirror, confused and frustrated as she struggled with the stubborn buttons of her work pants that were refusing to cooperate.

After a few months of living alone, Lavender noticed the change in her body. Her work uniforms were becoming tighter around her once slim frame. She reassured herself that there was nothing to worry about. After all, working two jobs left little time for eating healthy. Lavender had always been on the thinner side of the scale. The young girl even played tennis in high school and was very good. But she hadn't played a match with her tennis friends in a minute. Deep down, Lavender knew she had neglected her nutrition and sleep, and her work pants were telling the tale.

Lavender looked at the clock as she stood in front of the mirror, her heart pounding. As the seconds cruelly passed, she was constantly reminded that she couldn't afford to be late for work. The young employee dug through her messy drawer, desperately attempting to find a safety pin. She hastily pulled her jeans together with shaky hands.

Her mind was occupied with things other than getting to work on time. With all the deadlines and demands, her life had become chaotic. She was drowning in work, from struggling to write her college essay to the assignment looming like a black cloud, and she had to manage her weight.

Lavender noticed she relied increasingly on sweatpants as she looked in the mirror. Though comfy, they hinted at her weight gain. It was expected to gain a little weight as the seasons changed. Yet, finding the time, money, and willpower to go shopping was one more item to pile onto her already full plate.

With one more look at her reflection, she grabbed her backpack and headed out the door. Stepping outside into the chilly fall air as she ran to the bus stop, hoping that today would be better than her morning. As she rode the bus, she thought of ways to manage her weight for the next week.

After eating takeout daily and snacking between meals, she noticed changes in her looks. Not only did her clothes feel tighter, but her face looked chunkier. Her cheekbones looked like chipmunks, and was that a double chin?

Deciding to schedule a pick-up game with her tennis friends, Lavender's performance on the tennis court could have been better. Where she once felt nimble and sure-footed, she struggled to keep up with the others during matches, a constant reminder of how much weight she'd gained.

During breakfast one morning, she blurted out a question in her voice.

"Guys, do you think I'm fat?"

"No," came the unanimous answer from her stunned roommates. But Lavender saw the quick look the two young women exchanged.

"Are you guys being honest, with me?"

"Well, do you want honesty or to spare your feelings?" Sage asked since she was straightforward. The girls had created this rule regarding Sage's brand of honesty. The raven-haired girl tends to be a little blunt.

"Can you please be honest with me? Am I overweight?"

"You are not fat; you've just put on a little weight. That's nothing a healthy diet and exercise can't fix," Sage said matter-of-factly.

"You look great if this is how you want to look, but if you're asking if you put on a couple of pounds in the last few months...well...I have to say that I agree with Sage," said the ebony girl.

"I can't believe it! Why didn't you guys tell me that I was fat? Have you guys been laughing at me behind my back? That shows what kind of friends you guys are," I said, storming into my bedroom and slamming the door.

"You asked for the truth," Sage shouted before Lavender slammed the door.

Lavender sat in her room, brainstorming a plan. She searched for extreme diets on Google until she found one that fit her busy schedule: fasting and eating only one small meal daily.

According to Christopher Gaffney, Senior Lecturer in Integrative Physiology at Lancaster University, "While these diets may lead to short-term weight loss success in some people, they can have the long-term consequence of damaging your metabolism. This may explain why around 80% of diets fail—with the person ultimately putting all the weight they lost back on or even gaining more weight than they lost."

The young woman couldn't stop thinking about her weight for the next few days. Every time she sat down to eat, she would hesitate, feeling as though she was being looked at by others. It was as if she was constantly under the spotlight, making every meal a challenge.

What is Spotlight Complex?

It's the idea that people notice certain things about you more than they actually do.

She decided to eat less and opted for salads when dining with friends. Balancing her nutritional needs while skipping meals was challenging due to her busy schedule. Juggling two jobs, preparing for college, and playing tennis meant she needed more energy than her restricted diet provided.

Her head began to pound upon awakening, and she felt exhausted all day long. Lavender would walk on the scale every morning, desperately trying to see any progress, but the numbers would not budge. She followed her diet religiously for weeks but could only lose two pounds before giving up in frustration. The lack of progress was one of many issues. Her energy levels were low, and she often felt lightheaded and weak. She knew she needed to find a more sustainable and healthy approach to her weight management.

"Lav we're ordering pizza. Do you want some?"

"No thanks, I had a huge lunch," The young adult lied.

"Are you sure we're having a veggie pizza, and it's going to be so delicious"

"No, it's OK. I'm good, but thanks for asking."

Lavender hit the sack, feeling hungry and dissatisfied. Her obsession with her weight and the pressure to stick to her strict diet was really getting to her. She was sure skipping meals would help her lose weight, but seeing no immediate results left her frustrated and let down. She planned to take a long walk first thing in the morning to burn off the calories from yesterday's breakfast, hoping it would make a difference. She decided she'd only weigh herself after the walk to be accurate, but the numbers on the scale just weren't budging like she had expected.

After walking for an hour and pushing herself to the limit, she was disappointed that she hadn't lost a pound. As the day ended, Lavender felt utterly exhausted and dizzy, and she had a persistent headache due to her low energy.

"Lav, are you OK?" Asked Briar that night.

"Yeah! Why"

"Because you don't look so good. You may need some water. You just look like you're not focusing."

"I look fine, OK, are you gonna say something about my weight next? I'm trying my best. I'm trying to lose this weight."

"I never said anything about your weight. I meant that you're looking tired. You don't look like yourself."

"Do you mean fat? Is that what you meant, that I look fat."

"That's not it at all."

"You know what? I need some space. I've had a long day, and I just need some rest. That's all." Lavender storms out of the room, slamming her door and retreating into her room.

What was Briar's problem? Is she going to hurt me again by calling me fat? Why won't the scale move? I am giving it my all. What else can I do? No matter what I eat, I continue to gain weight.

I never used to worry about my weight. When I was younger, staying thin was easy because I was always active, and my mother cooked my meals. But now, everything I eat goes straight to my thighs and face. The young girl felt hurt, exhausted, and just plain worn out.

Not eating enough can affect your body, from weight to fertility to mental health. Lena Beal, MS, RDN, LD, a therapeutic dietitian at Piedmont, states that being underweight can increase your risk of malnutrition, developmental problems, infertility, bone fractures and osteoporosis, anemia, increased risk of surgical complications, and a weakened immune system.

Lavender stunk in the kitchen that night and ate all the leftover pizza. She knew her roommate would be upset, but she was now starving, and sleeping hard was hard.

The following day, Lavender avoided the scale. She didn't know how much more of this she could take.

Peering over the open refrigerator door, Sage asked, 'Who ate the pizza?'"

"I did said Lavender," shamed-faced

"Thank goodness. We thought you would never eat again," Sage said, relieved. "You have been a hangry, crabby mess for the last few weeks."

"I was thinking of feeding you while you slept," Briar said honestly.

Lavender started giggling. She thought she was doing an excellent job of disguising her problems. Sage didn't mind her eating pizza, which was a relief. Due to her money constraints, Sage has been frugal with her money and food.

In the coming weeks, Lavender, with the help of her roommates, designed a more successful weight loss plan that was healthier and more sustainable.

Start Small

Make small changes rather than big ones. Before making more significant dietary changes, try reducing portions or eliminating sugary drinks.

Listen to Your Body

Listen to hunger signals and stop eating when full. Eating slowly gives your brain enough time to register fullness, which helps you avoid overeating.

Schedule Regular Meals

Regular meal times allow you to better manage your hunger and avoid too much daily snacking.

Fruit and Vegetables

Eat more fruits and vegetables. They are high in nutrients and can keep you fuller for longer.

Stay Active

Make sure to do things you enjoy that will get you moving! You don't have to do challenging exercises or sports if you don't want them. Aim for at least 60 minutes of enjoyable daily activity, such as walking, dancing, or riding.

Build Muscle

Include strength training in your regimen. It helps build muscle, boosts metabolism, and supports weight loss.

Stay Hydrated

Remember to drink plenty of water to feel good and avoid snacking too much.

Get Enough Sleep

Get 7-10 hours of sleep each night. Not getting enough can mess with your hunger hormones and possibly cause you to gain weight.

Manage Stress Effectively

High stress levels can lead to emotional eating; therefore, finding ways to relax through activities like yoga or meditation is beneficial for maintaining healthy habits.

Forgive Yourself for Setbacks

If you slip up on your diet or exercise plan, don't be too hard on yourself; instead, refocus on your goals without dwelling on mistakes.

Remember to prioritize long-term and healthy habits rather than quick fixes. Stay away from trendy diets that promise fast results through extreme methods, as they often have harmful effects and are hard to maintain. Instead, focus on making small, long-term changes to your daily routine. Building healthy habits and taking a balanced approach to your diet are more practical than quick but unsustainable efforts for long-term weight loss and overall well-being.

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